A deer in the headlights

Things are finally starting to wind down, as summer arrives and the school year is coming to a close. Needless to say, I've been slacking a bit on my assignments and exam prep for school, but at this point I don't mind too much. Unfortunately I have until June 6th for high school to end. My AP exams  and ACT testing is all finished, which had been festering in the back of my mind for some time, and now my main priority is to just complete my comp 2 paper... which isn't going as smooth as I would've liked it to. I wouldn't say I have a writer's block, just maybe an organizational block... which is causing me to scrap and start over multiple times.

                Other than that I don't have a whole lot to do. It's been great being able to get out and do things every once in a while, especially with the weather the way it is. Unfortunately I missed a concert at Paradigm tonight that I wanted to see due to work, but I was up there on Thursday for LUCE, which was pretty fun to watch. My drive home from Sheboygan that night put a tad bit of a damper on my day though... as I decorated the front of my car with a deer. Damn damn damn. Although I don't sound sympathetic, I was. I felt absolutely terrible for hitting a deer, I was in tears because it was still alive first off, then really pissed because I realized how badly it fucked up my car, then crying again because it died on the side of the road. The sheriff came just a bit before my parents did, which was fine, although I knew I recognized him from somewhere. When my parents were talking to the cop, it was then that it set in how I knew him.... It just so happened that last summer I almost got a 700 hundred dollar fine from him, and since I managed to get off the hook, I left out the part about telling my parents. Ha, so in addition to everything with the smashed up car, I now had to worry that the cop would realize who I was once he filed the accident report with my parents standing near. Thankfully he probably realized I was having a bad enough night and kept his mouth shut. Yep, just another week. Good bye money for traveling, hello new hood and headlights. Oh, and thank god for this being the last blog post, we'll see if I ever come back on this site. Peace out

Summer!

Oh boy, summer's right around the corner. After a few more weeks of trying to get things done, I aught to be in the clear. Hopefully with a second source of income, I might be able to get away for a little while this summer and do more fun stuff than I have in the past. I'll definitely have to take a few camping trips as usual. It's always nice to get away for a few days and go live in the woods, you get peace and quiet on a very minimalistic budget. This year though, I think I need a real getaway. I've always wanted to go out west, and I think this might be the summer to take a little road trip. One of my friends is graduating college and we've talked before about taking a trip and now seems like a good time for it. The one problem I will probably run into is getting my parents to agree to letting me drive out west for a week with one other person. Granted, she is a very responsible college student, but I'm not sure my parents totally trust my decision making skills... Tough luck though, I'll be 18 in less than a year and I can go wherever I want. I kind of doubt that I'll mature all that much or be any more qualified to go in a matter of months.

Even if I don't wind up going, there's plenty more fun stuff to do around here. I really can't wait to hang out with friends that I haven't seen in a while and just to have free time to do some art or take a hike will be a wonderful change after a busy school year. Summerfest will also be spectacular this year I think, despite an overall crummy lineup, they've got a few artists that will make up for it I think. Ziggy Marley should be mind blowing, I've always wanted to see him and I won't miss that concert for anything. I saw his brother Stephen last year which was a great show as well.  Hopefully I get a few good days down there before I get all summerfested-out. So many fun things to do, summer can't come soon enough. 

Maybe this whole 'one post a week' requirement would be easier if I didn't leave it until the very last moment, and decided to write it when I actually had something to say. But I shouldn't kid myself, I doubt I'll take the initiative and do that. Not too much happened lately that I feel is worthy of sharing, or that I want to share. Hmm... I suppose the fact that I'm having trouble doing my synthesis paper is problematic, and maybe I might find somebody in the same position and I won't feel so behind.

                I started out wanting to do the paper on the subculture of drug addicts or heroin users because I thought it could wind up being interesting if I narrowed in on something specific enough. Drug addiction has always interested me, a sort of taboo on society, and something horribly devastating to many lives. Unfortunately after some digging I kept running into dead ends and wound up with an answer along the lines of "we can't help you, as this is too sensitive of a topic". I wanted to find a few people that wouldn't mind being interviewed, maybe at a halfway house or a in-patient facility, but in order to set anything up like that it seemed like I would be waiting a long while. So I finally decided to just change my topic.

                For the field site paper, I went to an underground punk rock concert and found some pretty crazy things and I thought an extension off of this might make for a good paper. My thought was to compare this radical group of musicians to another group that is contrasting. Lucky for me, I have quite a few musically inclined friends that tour and play locally and can most of the time get me into whatever show I want. One of these friends is into jazz and folky music and all of the bands he's in are focused on nature and more of a new age hippy sort of culture. Comparing this to the punk rock underground would be interesting I think since they are so different, but still have that deep connection to music. For a twist I was thinking about getting the drummer from a punk band and the other folky friend and doing an interview with both of them. Hmm... many cool ways to go with this, but I'd better get a move on, especially since I haven't really started an annotated bib yet! Gahhhh!

Shroomin

Yep, it's that time of year again... for morel mushrooms! One of my favorite times of year is in spring when  the wildflowers start to bloom in the woods, and the most delectable mushrooms start to push through the leaf cover on the ground. In past years, I would always go out with my family in May and look for morel mushrooms. This year with all the warm weather, they came up early and had I not been walking through the woods I probably would have missed out on them altogether.

                Morel mushrooms grow across the United States and are fairly abundant in Wisconsin, if you know where to look at least. They are one of a few wild edible mushrooms in the area, but in my (and most people's) opinion, they are the most delicious. In some areas they are nearly considered a delicacy, and people pay good money for them. Some places you can get nearly a hundred dollars for a pound, which is fantastic if you know a good spot to look. Around here some restaurants will buy them up for 30-60 dollars per pound depending on quality and quantity. In the past my family and I have just picked what we can find in our yard and made some goodies for our dinners, but this year we seem to have hit the motherload and have a good 5 pounds already in one day. With any luck I'd like to find more and look along the trails in the area and possibly sell off some of them.

                Hunting for morels is usually hit or miss. There are days that you'll go out and look for hours at a time and come back completely empty handed and on other days you find the right spots and can com back with hundreds. Either way, it's lots of fun to go out and search along the trails and a little competition among other lookers is always good too. There's nothing better than coming back after a long day of hiking to kick back, relax, and fry up your find of the day!

Heaven Beside You

Despite having a spectacularly shitty week, I feel that I may have gained just a tad bit of insight from it all. Being so busy these past couple weeks with school and work, I've found myself neglecting some things that I care about. My family, pets, and the little joys in life seemingly got pushed aside for a while and I've realized how important and taken for granted it all is. While money and socializing are unarguably fun and nice to have, they aren't the most important things.

                Life has really been good to me and I haven't had a whole lot to complain about... but the thing is, you don't realize that until something puts it into perspective. Now, I've never been one for sharing my feelings, but when you manage to find something good within a bad situation, it seems like something that is worth sharing or at least putting out there. Things have been pretty stressful in my life for a while now and it was just a matter of time before reality gave me a swift kick in the ass. I've made my fair share of stupid decisions, bitten off more than I can chew, and lost a good majority of friends (although some were for the best) recently but little did I know how minor those things were. This week one of the few people I talk to refuses to talk to me, I've messed up at work, gotten the flu, and then on Friday I got pulled over going 46mph in a 25. This could be a regular week for somebody else, but to me, this was really terrible. So on Saturday I came home to find my family outside and I was relieved to think that I'd finally have some time to relax and catch up, but then I saw their somber appearances and knew something was wrong. It turned out my grandfather had passed earlier that day. I've been lucky enough in the past that I haven't really dealt with death, so  admittedly, it hit me sort of hard. After some time to reflect, I realized it was probably the best possible outcome and that we should all be as lucky as to die in our sleep at age 94.

                For obvious reasons, this weekend could have gone a lot better, but given the fact that the situation wasn't changing anytime soon, all you can do is make the best. Life is fragile and what matters shouldn't be taken for granted. I'd been meaning to go out and visit my grandpa soon, and maybe had I not been so busy I would have. So things have been put into perspective for me this weekend, and I need to realize more often that the little things are unimportant. Getting yelled at by your boss, failing a quiz, getting pulled over...those are all things that will get better, and you'll probably forget next week. But a life isn't. Life can suck, but death definitely sucks more.

Service Industry

Happy Easter everyone.... Now that is the last time I will be saying that today! Recently I got a 2nd job at a restaurant and found one of the requirements to be helpful and cheery ALL the time. Now, this includes saying Happy Easter to every person I see and asking how their day was, and yes, even sitting there as they spew out what a great day they're having as they come for a nice lunch or dinner with their family. Occasionally I'm genuinely interested and happy for them but at 7 at night after I haven't been home yet to even say happy Easter to my own  family, the tables turn and all I want to do is leave. Getting this job I was fully aware that it wouldn't be fun, but after a couple weeks I've developed a great sense of respect for anybody in the service industry, especially waiting and bussing at restaurants.  To be honest, quite a bit of the night goes by quickly since most of the time you're busy and multitasking, leaving nearly no time to look at the clock and the money is also really good, but at the end of the night I find that myself and everybody else is both mentally and physically exhausted.  Bussing and hostessing have taught me a few things: one is to be extremely efficient and quick, a second to learn to multitask and focus on 10 things different waitresses shout out at you as you're walking by, and thirdly that despite the fact that some people are complete assholes, a smile always wins. Not only does it usually cause people to leave better tips, but when somebody's being difficult it's always secretly fun to see them get angrier when you kill 'em with kindness. This may seem spiteful, but from what I've seen, most people deserve it. Despite the fact that you are literally waiting on them hand and foot, some people seem to think it's fine to be rude and think that they're the only customers you should worry about. Oh well though, it's late and as I said, I am exhausted. At least I'm making some gas money. :)

Photography

Life is full of precious moments, so why let them slip away and be forgotten? I know that personally, even if I tell myself to remember something, it's quite unlikely that I'll be able to recall it easily. There's so much to learn and so many things to cherish in life that memories and written accounts hardly do justice.

            The phrase 'a picture is worth a thousand words' is something that I truly believe in and have tried to take up so I can remember all the beautiful places I've been and the amazing people I've met. That being said, you might guess that I travel a lot but the truth is I've only been out of state several times and mostly when I was much younger. Photography is about finding beauty in everything, even the most unusual of places. Sometimes it's not even the object or scene that is extraordinary, but the way that it's captured or the story that it portrays. Just like writing, drawing, sculpting, and much more, photography is no doubt an art. To capture what you want and possibly capture something somebody would want to buy takes time, practice, and effort.

            Right now photography is mostly a personal hobby that I take up in the summer and whenever I have free time, but if I get good and my future allows, I may like to get involved professionally. Photo shoots and getting hired for events doesn't sound very appealing, but I'd love to always have my camera on me and capture whatever I see around me. Nature and animals have always been my passion, and getting a good shot of a landscape or something going about its daily life is always rewarding. Getting pictures alone isn't always enough though it seems, and I've always had respect for the people who have the time and energy to scrapbook and organize their pictures and trips. Hopefully sometime I'll be able to do this or make a career or something of the sort out of it and go into photojournalism.

            So many choices. I'd just love to be one of those people who have made what they love into their career. If I'm not so fortunate, I still believe photography will have it's place in my life.